


By His Side

by woolfverse



Series: Woolfverse [24]
Category: Novik - Temeraire
Genre: 2000s, Arguing, Character of Color, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstanding, POV Third Person, Past Tense, full of derp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-13
Updated: 2010-03-13
Packaged: 2017-10-10 00:57:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/93484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woolfverse/pseuds/woolfverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marriage proposals go better when you don't constantly doubt yourself via internal monologue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By His Side

**Author's Note:**

> This story is from Tharkay's POV. [](http:)To read it from Will's POV, go here.

It had been four months, and the suspicion that Will would get bored, when Temeraire moved out, continued to grow. More specifically, it had been a week-- a very rainy few days in mid-January-- and Tharkay could count the hours by how many times Will looked outside with a mix of annoyance and wistfulness, or became distracted in the midst of conversation, or, worse, sat completely still while Tharkay spoke, studying him, as if making a decision. A week of this treatment had fanned the spark of nagging doubt in the back of Tharkay's mind into a roaring flame, and eventually, he was unable to think of little else.

Tharkay had waited until Will had left for work before walking slow through the flat and memorizing the layout. He could not quite bring himself to take pictures, thinking it too sentimental even for him, and instead walked silently through every doorway, touching the tables and beds. Finally, he ended the farewell tour in their bed, curling himself like a child on Will's side, and while breathing in only the smell of him, Tharkay slowly made himself accept the fact that he had failed a second time, and was no longer needed nor wanted.

But still, time, like the constant rain outside, dragged on. Will would not be official about it, made no hint beside his obvious external discontent and boredom, going as far as protesting that nothing was wrong, when Tharkay breached the subject at all. After the carefully hidden sadness passed, Tharkay only began to feel insulted at this delay. While on some level he did appreciate Will's apparent concern for him, it was not warranted, to this extent; he was an adult, and could with that fact face certain disappointments in his life, as painful as they may be. Had he not given that impression? Was Will's perception of him so warped?

Perhaps that was the cause of this, or any of the other thousands of things that made the two of them incompatible; after a point, Tharkay found he no longer cared why, for if Will was set on letting things drag on to this point, surely there was nothing Tharkay could do to change his mind. He could only hasten the inevitable.

He supposed the expression on his face, after the tenth or twelfth day of this treatment, was rather sharp; Will had bent over to kiss him and Tharkay had withstood it with stony indifference, looking over without moving to see Will nearly flinch back at his expression. They had been attempting to watch something on the telly, but Will had only spent the duration of the programme staring again out the window. Tharkay got up with a start, "I am going to get something to drink. I may need it if this is expected to continue."

Will looked up, nervous but otherwise vacant. "The rain?"

Tharkay only said, "No." And went to to abuse the kitchenware. It was of a hardy material, and while there was some welling of guilt within his breast, Tharkay found he could not help it, nor did he truly want to. The entire situation was reaching the point where the fault would soon be on Tharkay's shoulders, for withstanding this treatment for almost two weeks, now; he hated every moment, but knew very soon he would never see Will again, and could not quite give up the simple pleasure of sharing a bed with him, no matter how stiff and awkward it had been as of late, the both of them lying rigid, untouching and unmoving until sleep took them.

When Tharkay returned, Will was still staring blankly out the window; Tharkay could see the look of frustration reflected in the windowpane. Will looked up for a moment, saying, "Pray do not be so rough with the dishes, my dear?" and went back to staring out the window.

Tharkay sat down again, setting his drink on the coffee table, and intentionally forgoing a coaster. He was unable to suppress a wholly unworthy remark before leaning back, frowning deeply in the opposite direction. The telly continued on, neither of them watching it.

Will looked up, "Tharkay, if you could repeat that in English?" He looked absentmindedly curious, as one did with bits of trivia, or asking the time.

Tharkay's response was not the translation, but just as vicious; he would in retrospect wish he had not made such an insult not only to Will, but the politics he stood for, in effect spitting on a great deal of the past kindnesses Tharkay had been shown.

"I... Tharkay, did..." Will was uncharacteristically slow to process the information; usually, he rose to such an obvious taunt with indignant quickness, inches away from throwing a glove down and demanding satisfaction. Now, he only shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, and Tharkay stood to escape the look of puzzled innocence on his face.

"I'm leaving." Tharkay began to move for his coat, and that was finally what shook Will out of the look of general blandness that had coated him for the past week and a half. "I'm going for a walk."

"Tharkay, it- it is raining-" Will was blinking, all confusion and worry. Again, that piece of guilt rose in Tharkay's chest, but it was easier to quiet it than it ever had before; Tharkay felt his ears burning with the anger he'd been not quite keeping back for days now.

"So you will admit that bit of plainness, but not what mood you've been in for near half a month, now?" Tharkay hissed out, looking at the door as he spoke, but turning back in time to see Will begin to speak, and spoke over him without subtlety or grace. "Don't fucking insult me. When I get back, I'll take my things; I'll be out of your hair in a day."

Turning back to the door, Tharkay faintly heard Will exclaim an 'Oh, Lord' behind him and rush away, into the bedroom. That, Tharkay supposed, proved it if anything did: Will simply leaving him at the door was a slight he had not expected of someone so concerned with manners and propriety, but perhaps Tharkay no longer warranted his care.

In any case, the cold fact of it was a painful blow; Tharkay took a moment to lean his head against the door frame, closing his eyes to gather his anger around him in protection against the weaknesses of his own hurt feelings.

Perhaps he stayed too long. He heard, after what could have only been some moments, Will return just as hurried as he had left, stopping to land with a thump at Tharkay's feet. Tharkay took a moment to gather his breath, recalling he had been so _angry_, and opened his eyes scowling. He turned to see-

He turned to see Will at his feet, on one knee, holding out a box in front of the most desperate expression Tharkay could ever recall seeing him wear. Tharkay took another shaky breath, the aegis of his anger suddenly disappeared. "What-"

"Tharkay. Would you-" Will took a moment, clearing his throat, and Tharkay looked on in horrified fascination. Will could take as much time as he liked; Tharkay doubted he would be moving from where he stood for some time. "Would you stay? With me? I mean-" Will took a quick breath, and all the guilt in the world welled up in Tharkay's chest. "Just for the moment, of course, _please_. But also, until..." Will's smile was incredibly weak, and Tharkay leaned back against the door, slowly sinking to sit in a lump on the floor.

"Will..." Tharkay watched mutely as Will handed the tiny box to him, and with large eyes Tharkay opened it to find a pair of cuff links, each monogrammed with the other's initials; Tharkay was surprised to find his in uchen.

"I had thought a rings would be unwelcome, but if you would prefer them, I can take these back-- only I thought there should be _something_ to commemorate..." Will trailed off, biting his lip, and leaned with Tharkay against the door, looking all nerves. He said in a quieter voice, "I had wanted to do this at the park, but it kept raining."

"_Will_." Tharkay was hugely embarrassed to find he had tears in his eyes, and hurriedly blinked them back, shaking his head and drawing the little box close to his chest. "I- truly, you... Will, I am so sorry." He found his voice had become hushed to match Will's, and he turned to watch his face; Will was still smiling, nervous, and Tharkay would have done anything to comfort him, if he thought it would have been welcome.

Will only solved this problem for the both of them, and pulled Tharkay close. "You aren't leaving?"

Tharkay closed his eyes, pressing the little box and its contents close to his chest, "No, never."


End file.
